Forty First Cousins

Yup, it' confirmed. I have 40 first cousins. During a particularly bad traffic jam on a rainy day in Jakarta, my mom and I decided to entertain ourselves by calculating the exact number of first cousins I have. I've heard all sorts of estimates, ranging from 35 to close to 50. We're not including second or third cousins here. We listed out all the children that my aunts and uncles have from both sides of my family (my mom has 10 siblings, my dad has 11). We came up with 40. An even 20 from each side. 

Cousin Dina (grey shirt) and cousin Vina (orange shirt)

Since I was born and raised in Jakarta, I grew up playing and hanging out with Jakarta-based cousins who are mostly from my mom's side. I didn't meet the Bornean cousins from my dad's side until I was around 12 or 13, when we went back to Singkawang to attend my grandfather's funeral. Yet, I remembered feeling a natural sense of closeness and connection with them. We shared the common experience of growing up in our large, tight-knit family. 

In fact, we grew so comfortable with each other that we decided it'd be fun to play tag during our grandfather's wake with the theme 'grandfather has risen from the dead and now is out to eat us, his human grandchildren'. Being the tallest among us, cousin Vina was chosen to play the role of zombie grandpa. She did an awesome job scaring and chasing us around the room upstairs until the noise started disturbing the adults downstairs. This prompted cousin Henry to come up and check out what the ruckus was all about, only to find out the utterly distasteful way we were utilizing our grandfather's death as a form of child entertainment. 

Two of my favorite peeps sharing a laughing moment together

Having that many members in our family allows for a cast of characters worthy of a Hong Kong family drama series. From my dad's side, among others, there's cousin Vina, former zombie grandpa, now a 'tiger mom', hardworking mother of 3, cousin Dina, Vina's sister, the tomboy with a heart of gold, cousin Lisa, whose feminine ways puts us girls to shame, cousin Reina, whose infectious smile and wicked sense of humor always manages to brighten our moods, and cousin Henry, who at one point I wanted to marry because I thought he was the coolest, handsomest, and smartest person in the whole wide world:) 

From my mom's side there are cousins Stanley and Stella, a multi-talented pair of siblings, our very own home-bread bohemian artists, who recently whipped us the best Japanese dinner we've ever had. Then there's cousin Think-think, the shrewd and daring aspiring businesswoman, her sister cousin Vivi, my fellow bookworm and nerd, and Cousin Kevin, who along with my brother Nelson and uncle Hua form a string of sentimental men in the family who are in love with love. Of course neither of them are merely the cardboard characters I make them out to be for the purpose of this blog entry. Nor are my beloved cousins limited to the few persons I've mentioned here. 

Cousin Stanley hard at work

One thing I learned growing up with such a diverse and colorful set of personalities is the ability to get along and be comfortable with different types of people. There was no other way to socially survive in that kind of crazy and active environment. Even the shyest among us formed some sort of social skills since we had to learn to get along with one another at an early age. 

We're all busy leading our adult lives now. We're spread across different countries and continents. Reunions are mostly saved for big events such as weddings and Chinese New Year. With my traveling this time around, I got to see most of those with whom I'm close. By  chance, my LA cousins are also here in SE Asia for a visit. It was nice to have everyone gathered in the same space. They had to close off a part of the restaurant to accommodate our party consisting of 30 adults and children (who are the next generation of cousins:))

Indonesia is no longer my home. It's where my family lives, and where some of the essence of my being is rooted, but I don't belong here anymore. However, if I am lucky enough to have a child of my own, I'd definitely make frequent visits back to Jakarta, Singapore, L.A., wherever my family is, so he/she could experience bonding with their cousins the way I have.

The next generation of cousins